The Single Life

Every time I'm with my single friends lately (girls or guys) all conversation always leads back to our singleness. And we all seem to have the same complaints, frustrations, and confusion when it comes to dating. I know from the outside looking in, it doesn't seem that way at all but trust me... It's more complicated than it looks.

If you haven't been on the dating scene lately (other than considering yourself lucky) here is some of what you've been missing:
*Texting- The only way to communicate these days is texting. And everyone is funny, cute and so witty through text message. So you text for days or (most of the time) weeks with someone who is always so chatty and funny. Then you finally go out when the stars align and you're both not busy at the same time and what happens? ............crickets............ Crickets happen. It's awkward and uncomfortable. Neither one of you are funny anymore and you have to fight every urge to pull your phone out and start texting each other. And if by some great chance you do hit it off and go on a couple more dates but suddenly if one of you isn't interested, no big deal. You just quit texting. And when I say quit I mean quit, cold turkey. Like you never have to respond to anything again. The other person will question the fact that maybe you did actually die, but deep down they know you didn't (after some intense facebook, twitter, instagram stalking). In all reality everyone has become too big of a coward to actually tell someone how you really feel because it's easier to disappear instead. It's happened to me a handful of times and I've been guilty of it once too... (Dear Guy Who I Quit Cold Turkey On, Ugh... I'm sorry!)
*Advice- Everyone and I mean everyone has amazing dating advice for you. And of course, it's all contradictory.
     "It will happen when you aren't looking for it."
     "Make sure you are putting yourself out there."
     "You should try online dating."
     "You should just let go and trust God to bring someone into your life."
     "Definitely wait till he makes the first move."
     "It's 2013, you should definitely just ask him out."
It's exhausting. So much advice... And so much confusion.
*Online Dating- One word: Ridiculous! I've been doing it on and off for awhile and I've yet to meet anyone who is genuine. (Does that mean I'm not genuine on there either? Eh... I try to be all while maintaining the fact that I'm absolutely perfect of course.) I get it, it's super hard to write about yourself. And everyone wants to be the cute one that catches everyone's eye. But it's all so frustrating because who wants to be with someone who is perfect. None of us are perfect. So if I'm looking at profiles and you seem cool but too perfect there is no way I'm messaging you. I think it would be better if we all were just honest or maybe introduced ourselves by telling each other all our flaws first. I know that seems scary, but essentially isn't it our flaws and vulnerabilities that define us? Of course our skills and likes matter too, but when it comes down to it I just think all relationships could benefit from being a lot more vulnerable and real.

This is just a snippet of the craziness that is being single. And before anyone says that it's hard being in a serious relationship or being married, I get that. Life is hard. And all relationships take work. But this isn't a blog about that. This is a blog about being single. So no matter what place you are in your life, I hope you stick around and keep coming back for more.

Signed: Hi. I'm Jess. I'm not perfect.