Have you ever been able to look back on your life and exactly pinpoint the moment that everything changed?
My dad did that for me on Easter Sunday. I was at lunch with mom, dad and Joe. We were talking about church and how good the service had been that morning. We were mostly chatting about how much we all love being a part of Christ Church (mom and dad with the CM campus, me with the youth and Joe with softball). We were also talking about how thankful we were for all the good friends we've made and how the church has brought so many good people and experiences into our lives.
And then my dad said something that I can't quit thinking about, "Just think, if I would have gotten the Triad job we wouldn't be where we are today." That one statement blew me away.
About 10 years ago (maybe 8 or 11) my dad was working as the Asst Superintendent of the Triad School District. His best friend was the superintendent and had decided to retire. It seemed only natural that my dad would get his job. For reasons I still don't understand, he didn't. To say it was a slap in the face to my family would be an understatement. You see, my dad is the greatest educator I've ever known. No one loves teaching more than him. There is no one kinder or more generous than my dad. I was insulted and hurt (possibly more than him). I had always planned on my parent's living in Troy forever. I wanted to live in Troy forever. It is a great community filled with great people (contrary to what you see/read on the Troy fb page) and I couldn't imagine my family living anywhere else.
To make a long story short, my dad worked in two great districts after that. He bounced back from not getting the job. He got to end his career surrounded by amazing teachers and working with an amazing school board. My parent's moved to Fairview and live in a great neighborhood. But I, still kind of held a grudge. My plans for my family were ruined by a group of 7 people and I still was a little bitter about it.
Then in one sentence spoken by my dad on an Easter Sunday 10 years later my grudge turned into grateful. I know we never would have decided to go to Christ Church if my parent's hadn't moved to Fairview. One decision by a group of 7 people completely changed the trajectory of my faith walk. One decision by a group of 7 people put some of the greatest friends I've ever had in my life. One decision by a group of 7 people means that every Wed and every other Sun I get to hang with the coolest and smartest high school kids I know. One decision changed my path in one of the most significant ways possible. The word "no" was turned into the biggest "yes" my family has ever said.
That God of ours, He knows what He's doing.
Signed: After 31 years I'm still blown away by how much I'm not in control.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
The Problem With Texting
I went on a date earlier this week. It was a guy I met online which seems to be the only way to meet people anymore.
I feel like my whole experience with this guy is a perfect example of how technology makes dating much harder than it used to be.
Since we met online obviously we started out with messages back and forth. From there he asked for my number and we dove straight into texting. Lots of texting. For a couple weeks, only texting. He skirted around the idea of a date a couple times, but he never came out and asked me out. It was always asking me what I was doing and then saying how extremely busy I was. But never actually asking me out. He did end up calling me one night and we talked for awhile. Again, I didn't get asked out.
(Side Note: I'm sure some of you are thinking that I should have asked him out myself or called him or taken control. I'm sorry, but I'm old school and not doing that. I've tried it before and that doesn't work for me. The guy I want to be with will be a take control kind of guy and won't need me to ask him out.)
Finally after another week of texting he asked if I wanted to "hang out" and get a drink. (Yes, I got the "hang out" question which has become the oh so popular way of asking someone out.) I told him I would go on a date with him to get a drink.
We made plans to meet in Soulard for a drink.
(Second Side Note: I actually went on a date with a really nice guy awhile ago. He lived in St Louis and was more than willing to drive to my house, pick me up, and take me to dinner here in Edwardsville. He was a super cool guy and we had a lot of fun. It wasn't good timing for us, but he definitely was a true gentleman. He showed me what an actual good date looks like. Needless to say he moved my dating bar up. If you don't believe you meet people for a reason this is my perfect example of that.)
Soulard is about 30 mins away from my house. Which is no big deal if we were meeting in the middle, but it was only 5 mins from his house. So... Why was I doing all the driving?
I showed up right on time and he was already there. As I walked in he didn't get up, didn't hug me (which is what people usually do), didn't even shake my hand. And the first thing he said to me was some sarcastic comment about how he assumed I would be late because I'm a girl. *sigh*
The date wasn't terrible. It just wasn't awesome. Honestly I could have been having drinks with anyone. Nothing about it felt like a date at all. He gave no indication that he was into me. He was sarcastic most of the evening. He never once complimented me on anything (not that I need a million compliments but one tiny little compliment would have made me feel a little better about how things were going). He paid for my 2 drinks. We went home. I heard from him a little the next day, but nothing since.
So here is the thing. I'm confident he wasn't into me. That's ok because I wasn't into him. But the biggest problem is that before we got together our conversation flowed easily. Was that because it was through text? I would assume so. Through text his sarcastic comments were followed by a ":)" so I didn't find them awkward or rude. I'm sure he would have some complaint about me. I don't want to seem like I have no flaws and am perfect at dating... I have flaws and I'm still feeling my way blindly through the dating scene. I just really think the weeks of texting made us feel closer than we really were. It made us both start to like the person we encountered through these texts and not the real person. When we got together it felt like an awkward let down. You can only talk about so much through texting and through texts we were both witty, light, and easy going. In person we weren't compatible at all. It's disappointing.
I just think all in all, we're going about this dating thing wrong. I think light texting is ok, but phone calls would be better. I think first dates should happen as soon as possible because the only way you can figure out if you really like someone or click with someone is in person. Texting or constant emails back and forth seem so fake. You can't feel chemistry or attraction through a couple sentences of bad spelling and not punctuation.
Do you agree with this?
Have you ever had this same experience?
Non-single friends, what's your opinion on dating these days?
Dating is such a learning experience for me and I'm trying to better with each new person I go out with. But I'm not going to lie, I'm ready for a first date to lead to more dates instead of leading to nothing.
Signed: The girl who is searching for Mr. Right For Me! Where are you???
I feel like my whole experience with this guy is a perfect example of how technology makes dating much harder than it used to be.
Since we met online obviously we started out with messages back and forth. From there he asked for my number and we dove straight into texting. Lots of texting. For a couple weeks, only texting. He skirted around the idea of a date a couple times, but he never came out and asked me out. It was always asking me what I was doing and then saying how extremely busy I was. But never actually asking me out. He did end up calling me one night and we talked for awhile. Again, I didn't get asked out.
(Side Note: I'm sure some of you are thinking that I should have asked him out myself or called him or taken control. I'm sorry, but I'm old school and not doing that. I've tried it before and that doesn't work for me. The guy I want to be with will be a take control kind of guy and won't need me to ask him out.)
Finally after another week of texting he asked if I wanted to "hang out" and get a drink. (Yes, I got the "hang out" question which has become the oh so popular way of asking someone out.) I told him I would go on a date with him to get a drink.
We made plans to meet in Soulard for a drink.
(Second Side Note: I actually went on a date with a really nice guy awhile ago. He lived in St Louis and was more than willing to drive to my house, pick me up, and take me to dinner here in Edwardsville. He was a super cool guy and we had a lot of fun. It wasn't good timing for us, but he definitely was a true gentleman. He showed me what an actual good date looks like. Needless to say he moved my dating bar up. If you don't believe you meet people for a reason this is my perfect example of that.)
Soulard is about 30 mins away from my house. Which is no big deal if we were meeting in the middle, but it was only 5 mins from his house. So... Why was I doing all the driving?
I showed up right on time and he was already there. As I walked in he didn't get up, didn't hug me (which is what people usually do), didn't even shake my hand. And the first thing he said to me was some sarcastic comment about how he assumed I would be late because I'm a girl. *sigh*
The date wasn't terrible. It just wasn't awesome. Honestly I could have been having drinks with anyone. Nothing about it felt like a date at all. He gave no indication that he was into me. He was sarcastic most of the evening. He never once complimented me on anything (not that I need a million compliments but one tiny little compliment would have made me feel a little better about how things were going). He paid for my 2 drinks. We went home. I heard from him a little the next day, but nothing since.
So here is the thing. I'm confident he wasn't into me. That's ok because I wasn't into him. But the biggest problem is that before we got together our conversation flowed easily. Was that because it was through text? I would assume so. Through text his sarcastic comments were followed by a ":)" so I didn't find them awkward or rude. I'm sure he would have some complaint about me. I don't want to seem like I have no flaws and am perfect at dating... I have flaws and I'm still feeling my way blindly through the dating scene. I just really think the weeks of texting made us feel closer than we really were. It made us both start to like the person we encountered through these texts and not the real person. When we got together it felt like an awkward let down. You can only talk about so much through texting and through texts we were both witty, light, and easy going. In person we weren't compatible at all. It's disappointing.
I just think all in all, we're going about this dating thing wrong. I think light texting is ok, but phone calls would be better. I think first dates should happen as soon as possible because the only way you can figure out if you really like someone or click with someone is in person. Texting or constant emails back and forth seem so fake. You can't feel chemistry or attraction through a couple sentences of bad spelling and not punctuation.
Do you agree with this?
Have you ever had this same experience?
Non-single friends, what's your opinion on dating these days?
Dating is such a learning experience for me and I'm trying to better with each new person I go out with. But I'm not going to lie, I'm ready for a first date to lead to more dates instead of leading to nothing.
Signed: The girl who is searching for Mr. Right For Me! Where are you???
Saturday, April 12, 2014
The Struggle is Real
I love food. I love to cook. I love inventing new recipes. I love feeding my family. I love entertaining. If I won the lottery tomorrow after putting in the time to make sure that my office was taken care of and everyone was trained properly I would quit my job and go to culinary school. Probably in Tuscany.
If you are anything like me you understand that the struggle to diet is a real struggle for me. Not because I can't give up taco bell and pepsi (although that's hard too, but probably more so because of all the chemicals I've become addicted to in fast food and the sugar that has a tendency to rule your life in soda) but because I love food. It's hard for me to eat things plain jane. It's hard for me to just eat chicken breasts and green beans. (If only I could lose weight by eating my bruschetta chicken with fresh buffalo mozzarella melted on top of it and a side of garlicky green beans... *sigh*)
I love to eat out. But I'm not talking chain restaurants. I'm talking about the amazing local restaurants that cook with fresh ingredients, use lots of veggies, only have farm raised and antibiotic free meat, but also tend to use heavy cream and lots of bacon (in everything).
So although this is definitely a first world problem, the struggle is real for me.
I think I've lost about 8lbs in the past couple weeks. Honestly I'm head over heels in love with Advocare. Their vitamins and supplements have made me feel better than I've felt in years, but I probably would be down more lbs if I was being much more strict with myself. But I have to find balance. I can't live in one extreme or the other. I have to live in the middle.
What does that mean? To me it means that I have to keep laying off the fast food and soda or other sugary drinks, including starbucks (I told you the struggle was real!). It means I'm eating at home everyday for lunch. It means Linds and I cook dinner most nights during the week. Dinners that include more veggies and less pasta or carbs. It means I keep getting up at 6am everyday to start my morning with a workout and that I need to start adding gym time in the evenings to do weights and a bit more cardio. It means when I do eat out I need to be eating at only the local restaurants that I love and I know where their ingredients come from. It means I'll still eat dairy because my goodness goat cheese and bleu cheese are my two favorite ingredients. It means I will probably keep drinking red wine when I'm out to dinner. It also means I can take my love for cooking and use the organic produce delivery we get every week and do something super creative with it.
I need to keep pushing forward. Keep loving myself. Keep carrying myself with confidence. Keep realizing that it doesn't matter if I weight 130lbs or 300lbs, that this body is mine forever and it's capable of love and generosity. But in that very same nature this body is mine forever and I need to take care of it and respect it.
Life can't be lived in one extreme or the other. A good life is lived with balance.
Signed: The girl who is searching every day for her balance.
If you are anything like me you understand that the struggle to diet is a real struggle for me. Not because I can't give up taco bell and pepsi (although that's hard too, but probably more so because of all the chemicals I've become addicted to in fast food and the sugar that has a tendency to rule your life in soda) but because I love food. It's hard for me to eat things plain jane. It's hard for me to just eat chicken breasts and green beans. (If only I could lose weight by eating my bruschetta chicken with fresh buffalo mozzarella melted on top of it and a side of garlicky green beans... *sigh*)
I love to eat out. But I'm not talking chain restaurants. I'm talking about the amazing local restaurants that cook with fresh ingredients, use lots of veggies, only have farm raised and antibiotic free meat, but also tend to use heavy cream and lots of bacon (in everything).
So although this is definitely a first world problem, the struggle is real for me.
I think I've lost about 8lbs in the past couple weeks. Honestly I'm head over heels in love with Advocare. Their vitamins and supplements have made me feel better than I've felt in years, but I probably would be down more lbs if I was being much more strict with myself. But I have to find balance. I can't live in one extreme or the other. I have to live in the middle.
What does that mean? To me it means that I have to keep laying off the fast food and soda or other sugary drinks, including starbucks (I told you the struggle was real!). It means I'm eating at home everyday for lunch. It means Linds and I cook dinner most nights during the week. Dinners that include more veggies and less pasta or carbs. It means I keep getting up at 6am everyday to start my morning with a workout and that I need to start adding gym time in the evenings to do weights and a bit more cardio. It means when I do eat out I need to be eating at only the local restaurants that I love and I know where their ingredients come from. It means I'll still eat dairy because my goodness goat cheese and bleu cheese are my two favorite ingredients. It means I will probably keep drinking red wine when I'm out to dinner. It also means I can take my love for cooking and use the organic produce delivery we get every week and do something super creative with it.
I need to keep pushing forward. Keep loving myself. Keep carrying myself with confidence. Keep realizing that it doesn't matter if I weight 130lbs or 300lbs, that this body is mine forever and it's capable of love and generosity. But in that very same nature this body is mine forever and I need to take care of it and respect it.
Life can't be lived in one extreme or the other. A good life is lived with balance.
Signed: The girl who is searching every day for her balance.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Treat Yourself Tuesday
I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and I keep running across this idea of "Treat Yourself Tuesday".
I've decided I love it! And I'm implementing it in my life. It's especially perfect because Tuesday is my weigh in day so there couldn't be a better day to treat myself a little bit.
I think as women we tend to not treat ourselves very often... Or ever! And I think that just plain sucks! I don't know why we do this. Why we tend to put everyone and everything above doing something a little nice for ourselves? Literally every women I know does this. And it doesn't seem to get any better the older we get. It seems that as soon as we have kiddos treating ourselves goes completely out the window. (I know I don't have children yet so I am in no way shape or form judging anyone who does have kids...I'm just making an observation.) But you know what I think? I think everyone deserves to treat themselves to something good or nice or whatever makes them happy. So I'm on a personal mission to start making the women around me do that!
What did my first Treat Yourself Tuesday look like? It looked like 11 hours of work where I was stuck in walmart and couldn't even leave for lunch. Obviously that posed a problem, so this is what I did: Since I was in walmart I was able to get the ingredients to try and replicate my favorite salad. I may have made it and ate it out of a paper bowl in our vault room, but because it had egg and prosciutto in it, I was treating myself. And tonight (as I'm writing this) I'm sitting on the couch with a face mask on. (If I wasn't on Day 8 of my cleanse I would definitely be enjoying a glass of wine but... No wine for me tonight!) I felt like I had a little extra pep in my step today because I knew I was coming home to a face mask tonight and had a delicious healthy lunch. I think my first Treat Yourself Tuesday was a success!
Here is my challenge to all of you: Start doing a Treat Yourself Tuesday! And then comment on my Treat Yourself Tuesday blogs with what you did. I'd love to hear how you all treat yourself and what makes you happy. I'll also be posting my stuff on Instagram with #treatyourselftuesday (jess_loftus) and also on Twitter (messiejessie2). Also, encourage the women closest to you to participate too! We all deserve it!
Advocare Update: I'm officially down 4.4lbs (In 7 days! I'll take it!). I have TONS of energy and feel better than I've felt in months. The healthy eating is getting much easier but today was a bit of a challenge because all the bad food I wanted was right in front of me. I stayed strong though and didn't fall off the wagon. So far, Advocare is a success for me!
Signed: The girl who is learning to love herself a little bit more everyday.
I've decided I love it! And I'm implementing it in my life. It's especially perfect because Tuesday is my weigh in day so there couldn't be a better day to treat myself a little bit.
I think as women we tend to not treat ourselves very often... Or ever! And I think that just plain sucks! I don't know why we do this. Why we tend to put everyone and everything above doing something a little nice for ourselves? Literally every women I know does this. And it doesn't seem to get any better the older we get. It seems that as soon as we have kiddos treating ourselves goes completely out the window. (I know I don't have children yet so I am in no way shape or form judging anyone who does have kids...I'm just making an observation.) But you know what I think? I think everyone deserves to treat themselves to something good or nice or whatever makes them happy. So I'm on a personal mission to start making the women around me do that!
What did my first Treat Yourself Tuesday look like? It looked like 11 hours of work where I was stuck in walmart and couldn't even leave for lunch. Obviously that posed a problem, so this is what I did: Since I was in walmart I was able to get the ingredients to try and replicate my favorite salad. I may have made it and ate it out of a paper bowl in our vault room, but because it had egg and prosciutto in it, I was treating myself. And tonight (as I'm writing this) I'm sitting on the couch with a face mask on. (If I wasn't on Day 8 of my cleanse I would definitely be enjoying a glass of wine but... No wine for me tonight!) I felt like I had a little extra pep in my step today because I knew I was coming home to a face mask tonight and had a delicious healthy lunch. I think my first Treat Yourself Tuesday was a success!
Here is my challenge to all of you: Start doing a Treat Yourself Tuesday! And then comment on my Treat Yourself Tuesday blogs with what you did. I'd love to hear how you all treat yourself and what makes you happy. I'll also be posting my stuff on Instagram with #treatyourselftuesday (jess_loftus) and also on Twitter (messiejessie2). Also, encourage the women closest to you to participate too! We all deserve it!
Advocare Update: I'm officially down 4.4lbs (In 7 days! I'll take it!). I have TONS of energy and feel better than I've felt in months. The healthy eating is getting much easier but today was a bit of a challenge because all the bad food I wanted was right in front of me. I stayed strong though and didn't fall off the wagon. So far, Advocare is a success for me!
Signed: The girl who is learning to love herself a little bit more everyday.
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