2014 Goals

This morning Robb and I taught high school Sunday School. Over the last year we've been team teaching almost every other week and it's been one of the best things about 2013. It's allowed me to get to know my youth group kids on a bit of a deeper level and I hope it's allowed them to know me a bit better.

Today we did something a little different. I had printed out sheets of "2014 Goals" and we had them fill them out. I won't share their answers, but they were all good. These kids are smarter and more grounded than I was in high school for sure. And I love it!

As I was putting all this together I got to thinking about new year's resolutions and how it seems like we're always setting ourselves up for failure. That we put all these HUGE expectations on ourselves at the beginning of the year and then 30 days later we're looking around and our "resolutions" are nowhere to be found. So how do we fix this? How do we quit walking into the new year feeling like we can concur the world and then get to February and already be back in our old ways feeling like a failure. Honestly I don't know but I feel like breaking our resolutions down into small categories could help. And that's where the worksheet I gave the kids today comes in.

So here are the questions and my answers:

• A bad habit I'm going to break: Negative self talk. I'm much much harder on myself than anyone is on me. It's a battle I have to win. It's not good for me. 
• A new skill I'd like to learn: Something crafty and creative. Not sure what this looks like yet...
• A good deed I'm going to do regularly: Compliment people more. Tell people how much I love them. 
• A place I'd like to visit: I'd like to go on some weekend hiking trips. And I really want to go to the Chattanooga Aquarium and the Atlanta Aquarium. 
• A book I'd like to read: There are a ton of books I would love to read. I'm going to be doing the   Empty Shelf Challenge so that will get me through a lot of books. Lindsay said I need an entire empty bookshelf... Which knowing me is probably what will happen. 
• A new food I'd like to try: This is a tough one because I'll pretty much try any exotic food that is put in front of me. So I guess my new food would be new and delicious ways to cook vegetables. 
• I'm going to be better at: Being transparent with those around me. Drop the facade and be real and genuine with everyone I encounter, not just those people I trust most. 
• My biggest goal for 2014: Do what makes me happy. Focus on me and not worry so much about the future. Live in the present which means focus on one day at a time. Be healthy. Move more. 

I think these are all doable goals. And I think if I focus on these goals 2014 will be a great year. 

Do you believe in resolutions? How do you accomplish them?

I'd love to see in the comments everyone's resolutions or goals for 2014!

Signed: Bring it on 2014!!! I'm ready for you! 

Tradition

I love a good tradition.

I love anything cheesy with my family and friends.

Which makes Christmas my ultimate holiday! And it absolutely did not disappoint yesterday. There were tons of presents and good food. There was some AMAZING Christmas Eve church that made me teary as we sang "O Holy Night" and I was reminded of God's love for me. But there were two things that stood about above and beyond the rest.

The first was our Annual Christmas Present Treasure Hunt. My dad has been doing this for us since I don't know when. He hides clues all over the house and sends all of us on our very own treasure hunt. It's silly and cheesy and it never gets old! I love watching everyone figure out their clues just as much as I love figuring out my own. It was extra special this year because Rock and Ly really got into it. They remembered the hunt from last year and were oh so ready to begin the hunts this year. It will forever be one of my happiest memories with my family. And I hope that it's a tradition that's carried on to my kids and grandkids one day.

The second moment was after we got home from church when mom, dad, Joe, Aunt Judy, Uncle Bob and I sat down to play cards. They taught me how to play Euchre which was hilarious because all of them played just a little bit different... So we played cards, munched on my favorite spiced pretzels, told stories, and laughed. I have so many happy memories of Christmas as a kid and we talked about those (singing carols as a family, the year I got an ironing board to play house with, how I thought fondue for  dessert was the fanciest thing I had ever seen, and that walking in the door and seeing a mountain of presents was the most glorious moment of my life), but I realized last night that being an adult with the "adults" is sometimes much more fun. We turned off the christmas music and turned on the golden oldies which meant we were all singing along and told stories of all the movies we saw when we were younger that we werent' supposed to see. (Except I didn't have any stories to tell cause I was THAT KID who was way too afraid and would have felt too much guilt seeing any movies I wasn't supposed to.) Dad, Aunt Judy and I kicked some tail at Euchre! And all in all it was a fabulous day with family.

So what did I learn this Christmas? There is nothing better than growing older with the people you love. That the next time my family wants to teach me how to play a new game I should definitely have a glass of wine by my side. And that I'm so thankful my family is filled with so much fun, love and cheesy traditions.

Signed: Merry Christmas from my house to yours!!! <3

Glamglow, A Beauty Review

If you know me well at all, you know that I love everything about makeup and beauty products. I love getting samples when I order stuff. And my new favorite guilty pleasures are Birchbox and Ipsy (more on both of those at a later date). 

Since the summer when I first read about Glamglow I had been lusting over it. I mean I've been DYING to try it. But with it's $70 price tag I just could never justify it. So I just continued to read good things about the product and admire it from afar... 

Until one day the clouds opened up, the Sephora Angels sang and I got a sample when my order arrived! Ahhhhhh!!!! 

So of course I tried it... 

And although it looks like a hot mess my skin felt amazing afterwards. And I was sold... 

But what I really wanted to try was the clearing masque that Glamglow sells. So being the beauty product junkie that I am I decided to go to Sephora and get their opinions on it. (Side note: I love Sephora! I never feel like they are in it for a hard sell and they always tell me how it is, as in if something is worth the $70 I want to throw down on it.) My favorite sales girl was there and she did nothing but rave about the clearing masque! She said she uses it as a spot treatment and it works wonders. 

So I bought it. 

And I tried it. 

And the crazy thing about the clearing masque is that you can see it working. Because as it dries it sucks out all of the junk out of your pores. It's kind of gross but cool at the same time! 

So what's my verdict? 

If you're going to splurge on any beauty product any time soon, splurge on Glamglow Supermud! Not only did it clear up my breakouts overnight. It also lest my skin feeling smooth. I will probably use it mostly as a spot treatment because of the price tag. And I will definitely be buying it again when it's all gone. 

Signed: My name is Jess and I love anything girly.

I need a hobby...

I've felt kind of restless lately. A little bored. Just a little all around uneasy. And I don't like it.

I think all the stress from moving houses and offices at the end of the summer was so exhausting that I hibernated all Fall. And I loved it. I needed a season of rest, relaxation, and taking care of myself.

But you can't stay in any one season for too long.

And now it's time for a change. I need to stop the hibernation. I need to start using my creative brain again. I need to read more. I need to do things that will make me happy. I need a hobby. So what does that mean? I have no idea! And maybe that's the beauty of it.

Have you ever felt a season in your life shifting and changing? It's like everything in me is letting me know I can't be idle anymore. It's time to try something new and different.

I don't know how any of this will play out but I'm opening my mind and my heart to experience something new. I'm ready for what God is ready to throw at me. If it's a sudden desire to work out or knitting everyone I know a sweater, you my readers are my witnesses that I will try whatever comes my way. As long as it's not more online shopping, tv watching or napping.

On a side note, I was talking about needing a hobby today at work and I got the following suggestions: pokemon collecting, rock collecting, moon rock collecting, baking, brewing my own coffee, and badminton were some of my favorites. Hahaha

So do you all have a hobby? What do you do to keep your life from standing still?

Signed: This girl has had enough of being tired!

Tuesday Top Ten Best Places to Eat Addition

Today's Tuesday Top Ten is all about the best places I've eaten at in 2013. If you know me at all you know that I love eating out and I love trying new places. This list is a pretty wide variety. Some of the places are right around this area and some are miles away. Some are fancy and some are small town.

So here we go:

10. 1818 Chophouse This is a steak house in Edwardsville that originally was Craft Chophouse but recently changed its name. I went here for dinner back in January and it was the typical steak place. Really good and definitely worth going back to for a nice steakhouse dinner. But the real hidden gem about the place is their brunch! They have a great selection and it's not too expensive. I had a smoked salmon benedict the first time we were there and a seafood omelet the second time and both were delicious. I love that the Edwardsville area is becoming this fabulous foodie mecca for those of us on the IL side of the river and 1818 Chophouse's brunch should be at the top of your list of places to try.

9. Via Napoli My parent's took me to Disney World last year for my 30th Birthday. And of course I got to pick all of the places we were going to eat. Via Napoli was #1 on my list and it definitely lived up to my expectations. My absolute favorite food is pizza and if you have good wood fired pizza I'm in love with you forever. The pizza at Via Napoli was some of the best I've ever had. I got the Margherita Pizza which to me is the best way to test if a restaurant can make good pizza. It was super cheesy with the perfect amount of basil and fabulous homemade sauce. I love a good crust that is crispy and doughy all at the same time. It also absolutely has to taste fresh and yeasty. So if you're ever at Disney, make reservations here. I promise you won't be disappointed.

8. Peel Can I put two pizza places on this list and in a row??? Of course I can, this is my blog and I do what I want! Peel has been one of my favorite places since it opened. I've never had anything there that I didn't like. If I was going to eat there and eat exactly what I wanted and not get too full this is what I would have: Prosciutto Involtini (I have a secret love affair with proscuitto!), the house salad with their ranch dressing (I'm super picky about ranch and their's is some of the best), and a Margherita Pizza. It's hard for me to want to try anything but my standard there, but I will say I also love their Buffalo Chicken Pizza, Buffalo Chicken Mac n Cheese, and also their Formaggio Pizza. If you haven't been there before, stop what you're doing right now and go there!!!

7. Vin de Set I've only been here once and it was for brunch, but it was one of my favorite brunches I've ever had. First off they have a fabulous buffet. Not only is it full of your typical breakfast/brunch items, but it's also full of other fancier chef creations. The service is great and our waiter was very knowledgable. I was here celebrating with friends and we couldn't have picked a more beautiful day because the very best thing about Vin de Set is their rooftop patio! It was a gorgeous day and we had a beautiful view of the city. As the weather gets warmer next Spring I can't wait to hit up Vin de Set again on a gorgeous Sunday morning.

6. Sqwires I love a good Bloody Mary so when I saw a facebook post showing Sqwires Bloody Mary Bar I was sold before I even walked in the door. This was another Sunday Brunch destination recently and I can't wait to go back. Not only do they have a Bloody Mary and Mimosa bar full of every topping and addition to these drinks you would ever need, but they also had really delicious food. When the girls and I go to brunch we like to do the whole everyone orders something different and then we all take bites off each other's plates. The best thing we had there was the Peach Cobbler French Toast. Amazingly delicious! If you're a bloody mary or mimosa fan please check out Sqwires, you will love it!

5. Robust Robust is a great wine bar that has a couple different locations in the St Louis area, but recently opened one up in Edwardsville. Lindsay (the roommate/bestie) and I have become regulars there. The staff is very friendly and they have a great wine selection! Not to mention the fact that the food is amazing! The menu items I love there are: Spinach Artichoke Dip, Mushroom Flatbread, Crab Cakes, Shrimp and Grits and the Salted Caramel Pot de Creme. I love the atmosphere and it's never been that crowded so we don't feel rushed or like we can't sit there for hours. My favorite way to enjoy a meal is slow and steady. There is nothing better than a good night with the bestie talking, eating and drinking good wine. Robust provides all this!

4. Cleveland Heath Cleveland Heath in my opinion is one of the best restaurants in this area. Not only is everything on their menu creative and delicious, but it changes seasonly and they use as many local ingredients as they can. I love that they implement new ingredients and flavors that aren't well known. I've had Foie Gras, Beef Cheeks, and pork belly there which used to be out of my usual taste range. Not to mention that they make a killer cheeseburger. And to make a great thing even better the service there is fantastic. Everyone I've encountered knows the menu from top to bottom and is knowledgable about all the flavors and ingredients. If you have not tried out Cleveland Heath you MUST go there soon!

3. Copia Copia has been my go to fancy dinner restaurant for years. It's a little too pricey in my opinion but as soon as I have a bite of their Chicken Lasagna all dollar signs disappear and I'm in foodie heaven. It literally is the dish I would want for my last meal. And because the place is so pricey it feels like even more of a treat when we get to go there. They also have some really delicious appetizers: Arancini, Ahi Tuna Canape, and Stuffed Mushrooms are a few of my favorites. They have a fabulous patio with a retracting roof that's fun when you're out with friends. And the inside is dark, quiet and super romantic. Which means it would probably be a great place for a date! So if anyone wants to take me on a romantic date anytime soon... No really, try Copia for the next big event in your life!

2. Gamlin Whiskey House This is a new place in St Louis and it's pricey, but it's worth every penny you spend here! The friends and I went here for Lindsay's birthday about a month ago. It was delicious!!! I started my dinner with Steak TarTare and it had a perfectly cooked poached egg on top. (Who doesn't think everything with a poached egg on top is better?) Then for my entree I had the Squid Ink Salmon Pasta. Heaven in my mouth! It has this amazing bleu cheese cream sauce...sigh. I'm in in love with stinky cheese so the fact that they made a sauce out of it made my night. Everyone was super impressed with their dinners too. I had a bite of Lindsay's steak and it was cooked perfectly. I'm honestly looking for something to celebrate so we can go back and I can have the same meal all over again.

1. Siena Tavern The best meal I had in 2013 was at Siena Tavern by a landslide! The girls and I came here for brunch while in Chicago. Not only was Siena Tavern on my foodie bucket list (it's owned by my favorite Top Chef contestant Fabio) but then our food and service exceeded my expectations. We started with a Bloody Mary and it was hands down the best Bloody Mary we've ever had. If you are in Chicago you must go there! And you must have the following: the housemade Gnocchi pasta (amazingly delicious pillows of dough with the most fabulous sauce on top), the Cinque Formaggi pizza (the cheesiest and most delicious pizza you will ever put in your mouth) and to top it off you have to and I mean HAVE TO have the Coccoli (it's fried dough with prosciutto wrapped cheese and truffle honey on top)...literally the best thing I ever ate. Period. End of story. I could have ended my foodie bucket list after having the coccoli. Every time we go to Chicago I love to try new places, but it's going to be hard to skip Siena Tavern next time I'm up there. Coccoli will change your world. Try it. You can thank me later.

Where are the best places you've eaten in 2013??? I need to start my go to list for 2014!

Signed: The girl that loves to try new things!

Forgiveness

I think this blogpost is going to be kind of hard to write because it doesn't show me in the perfect light, but I feel like I need to write it. So here we go...

During the 8 years that Matt and I were dating we had a lot of good times and a lot of happy memories. But we also had our fair share of drama. And this drama almost always centered around other girls. If you didn't know Matt, I think the best way to describe him was charismatic. He was funny, friendly, so out going and when you had his attention you truly felt like you were the only person that mattered. So add to that the many bands he was in and you have the absolute worst scenario for trying to be in a serious relationship. And add into that the fact that I'm kind of a jealous person who always used to jump to the worst conclusions and you have the perfect storm. But this blogpost isn't about him and me because most of that stays with me. This blogpost is about me and every other girl that he dated...

I would love to sit here and be able to say that they were all horrible people who threw themselves at him and were rude and nasty and terrible to me. And in some cases I think that would be an accurate description, but not in all cases and probably not in most of the cases. Because there were times that I was rude and nasty to them. There were times that I was an ultimate mean girl. I ruined relationships. I never  gave anyone a chance. I talked bad about them to anyone who would listen. And I did it all out of jealousy and desperation. And I'm sorry.

Earlier this week I was emailing back and forth with a girl that used to date Matt. Her and I used to be completely not nice to each other. But yet, here we are now, emailing every once in awhile to catch up. She lives half a world away and is in a great relationship. It makes me happy to know that she's happy. I brought up to her that one time Matt and I had a conversation about her. He told me that her and I were a lot alike and that he knew if we had met without him in the middle of it we probably would have been good friends. And now after knowing the real her, I know that is completely true. I told her that and she said this to me, "I'm sure Matt is thankful that we speak, I am…it just takes so much energy to hold grudges and forgiveness feels so good."

She's so right, forgiveness feels so good. It feels so much better than hate. So this is me, letting go of all that crap from the past. Letting go of every bitter, rude and hateful remark every made to me. Every eye roll or nasty comment. And this is me saying I'm sorry for the part that I played in all that. This is me saying I wish that I could go back and get to know those girls for who they really were and not immediately judging them and turning them into monsters because they fell for the same rockstar that I did. 

Most of these girls will probably never read this and I'm sure some of them would tell me where I can shove my apology. But that's ok. I've always believed that forgiveness is more internal than external. 

But if you are a girl that I was ever mean to, please forgive me. I've forgiven you. And I've forgiven myself.

Signed: Growing every day.

Surrender

Two of my closest friends and I were talking the other night about our fears. Mostly about what makes us anxious or keeps us up at night. They were all different things. As we took turns sharing our fears we also took turns reassuring each other. It's funny how I can listen to my friend's fears and think that they are irrational and crazy, but when it comes to the things that make me anxious they are so real and not irrational at all. 

I won't share my friend's fears because what we all said was said over a few glasses of wine at my kitchen table in the stillness of night and it was all said in confidence. But I will share my fears because in my quest to write more it means I need to be more vulnerable.

Mostly I'm anxious about having/wanting control. I don't worry about things going wrong. I worry about things not going exactly right. Or in better words, I worry about things not going how I have them planned out in my mind. I worry about not having perfect moments because you never know when you won't have anymore moments. And as I'm typing this, that all seems irrational and like these are the words of a crazy person. But it's true fear. It's what makes me anxious. It's the root of all my insecurity. If you read my journal you would see mostly prayers asking God to take this fear from me. Asking for more of Him and less of me. Begging for my faith to be bigger than any of my fears. Prayers of surrender and giving up the fight for control of my life. Because ultimately we all know I'm not in control. 

I came across this quote today from the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and it's my new prayer. "“Dear Lord, please show me everything I need to understand about forgiveness and surrender." And I'm going to say it and write it a thousand times everyday until I learn to forgive and I learn to surrender. 

So my question to all of you is, what do you fear? What makes you anxious? And are you will to let go of that fear? 

Signed: The girl who needs to learn to be still and surrender.

A constant reminder that I need to wear more.

Friendsgiving

Last night was our 4th Annual Friendsgiving/Friendsgivingmas with the Friend Family. Which of course has me feeling all kinds of sentimental this weekend. So yesterday in the midst of the cleaning and cooking I found myself in the spare bedroom reminiscing over all the Friendsgivings Past...

It all started in 2010. That was a very hard year for all of us. It seemed appropriate that we do something to remind ourselves of all the blessings and love in our life. And that's how Friendsgiving began. Most of that year I felt like I was drowning and the only things I had to cling to were my faith, my family and my friends. So there was no better way to thank my friends than this.

Friendsgiving 2010

Every year we've changed location a bit and the guest list has grown a little more. But every year the sentiment has been the same for me. Life is short and sometimes really hard so you MUST keep the people that you love close to you.

Friendsgiving 2011

It's so easy to get wrapped up in the everyday of life. And the older my friends and I get the more it becomes harder to stay connected. I'm under no delusion that it will get any easier as we all form our own families and have different responsibilities to different people. But I will continue to make sure we get together at least once a year for this. 

Friendsgving 2012

I've realized more and more lately how sentimental I am. I've learned in the last couple years how tradition is so important to me. And I think it's so important because the traditions make me slow down, relax and remember what is important in life. What is important to me. I used to think the fact that I was so sentimental was a blessing and a curse, but now I really just think it's a blessing. Sometimes it means I get my feelings hurt over dumb things and that I stress about the little things being perfect, but mostly it means that I work hard to keep my friends and family close. It means that I value every relationship I have and am very aware of the quality time I spend with people. So I will continue to wear my feelings on my sleeve and be cheesy and sentimental when I want to be with absolutely no shame behind it.

Signed: Softy Lofty